Task 2Band 6.510 views

Some people say the young people who broke the law should be sent to prison, while others believe there are better ways to deal with it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essay Response

309 words4 paragraphs

Many believe that juvenile offenders should be addressed by sending them to prison, while others would argue there are more appropriate approaches for them. In this essay, I will discuss both viewpoints equally and provide my stance.

Proponents of the idea that young individuals that committed offense may believe everyone that has done any illegal activities should be punished accordingly regardless of their age. This is primarily because these people see this method as a way of disciplining and educating young law breakers so they don’t repeat the same mistakes ever again. For instance, in Uzbekistan, if an underage person were to commit a crime, he or she would be sent to prison for 15 days or more based on the seriousness of their act. On the other hand, there is another group of people advocating for that there could be better and less extreme ways of addressing situations as this.

The reason for this is that they are convinced young individuals’ brains are in a psychological development phase, which means this sort of extreme punishments are more likely to harm them mentally compared to adults, thereby may affect their future prospects negatively. For example, one of the better approaches is to put them in a community service for a short period of time, which is not only far less dangerous for young people, but also more beneficial for the environment. In conclusion, while sending young people to prison may appear to be a valid option to some because any offenders should be punished, others would argue there are better approaches such as sending them into a community service, so not only they can be disciplined, but also contribute to the environment.

Personally, I firmly believe the idea of the second group of people, as it is less harmful to their mental well-being and more advantageous to the environment.

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Detailed Feedback

This essay achieved a band score of 6.5. Key strengths include Clear position maintained throughout the essay and Both views are discussed with relevant examples. Areas for improvement: Examples could be more detailed and Some ideas could be further developed.

Overall Band Score

6.5/ 9.0
4paragraphs
309words

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