Task 2Band 6.521 views

Some people spend a lot of money celebrating personal family events, such as weddings and birthdays. How important is it to celebrate such events ? Do you think people spend too much money on those events ?

Essay Response

204 words3 paragraphs

Nowadays spending large amounts of money on family celebrations has become prevalent due to social pressure and influence of social media which can lead to redundant inflation of money if individuals over organize events. This essay will give thorough opinion of importance of such events and explain why spending too much money can lead to debts and loans.

To begin with the importance of personal celebrations, they are long-lasting traditional entertainments from our ancestor's time, particularly weddings. Take Uzbekistan as an example, in contrast to the organisation then and now is that ancestors used to organize humble weddings with balance of spending budget. But now it has been modified with new facilities to organize extravagant weddings. In fact, it is fundamental in maintaining unforgettable and irretrievable memories with those arrangements, but with its balance and some restrictions. Regarding spending large amounts of money for temporary events, it widely became common to take debts and loans which can lead to eventual consequences for the entire life.

Instead people should prioritize concentrating on the emotional meaning of these occasions rather than excessive decorations and their commercial appearance. In conclusion, even though celebrating personal family celebrations is crucial in strengthening emotional bonds, they should avoid excessive allocations.

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Detailed Feedback

This essay achieved a band score of 6.5. Key strengths include Addresses both parts of the task and Clear position on the importance of celebrations. Areas for improvement: Ideas are somewhat general and Examples lack specificity and depth.

Overall Band Score

6.5/ 9.0
◐Task completion
7
◐Position clarity
7
◐Ideas development
6
◐Relevant examples
6

Feedback

The essay addresses both parts of the task, discussing the importance of family celebrations and the financial implications. However, the ideas are somewhat general and lack detailed development.

3paragraphs
204words

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